Posts
I was having a conversation with a man on adam4adam. Yes I must admit that I have frequented the site several times over the years. I have met some really nice people, and some not so nice people. As a discreet, professional same-gender-loving man there are not a lot of avenues to meet decent available men. So many of us find ourselves on dating sites like adam4adam as a way of meeting someone.
Here it is 2010, and find myself alone and patiently waiting for Mr. Right, and yes sometimes Mr. Right-Now to come and offer me safety, passion, and maybe the L-word? Although I do not believe that one can necessarily find the L-word on adam4adam, there is always the chance of just meeting a nice guy for whatever the mood calls for.
I received a message one day from a man who identified himself as Nate. He was in his mid 40's, medium height, dark, and rather attractive. He said that he had returned to Chicago about 2 months ago to care for his mother. He admitted that it had been 20 years since he had been home. Nate had decided to come back home and reacquaint himself with the family he left behind. This family included a mother, sister and two estranged daughters. He had left Mobile Al where he had a home, job, and a daughter from a recent divorce.
After a few phone conversations, and several text messages we decided to finally meet. Mistake number one- I invited him to my home so we could spend the evening together and become better acquainted. Nate texted me before arriving that he hopes I will be OK with his Au-natural look. Meaning that he needed a hair cut and a shave. I responded that I was OK with that, and that he should come as he is.
I open my door to a man with a an Au-natural look, and a small nap sack on his shoulder. He made reference that he had some things from his daughter with him, and he was not able to drop them off before arriving. He looked like his picture he had shared with me. Strikingly handsome, slender and very masculine in appearance. I invited him in, and offered him a drink while we talked.
For the next two hours this man quoted scriptures, talked about his failed marriage, quoted scriptures, talked about God, and even once grabbed his bible out of his nap sack and demonstrated that he could quote an entire Psalms from heart without looking. I'm like OK this is really getting to be too much for me. I was finally able to convince him to lay off the scriptures and watch a movie.
Long-story short he stayed the night, and I offered him the shower, clean clothes to sleep in, while I washed the clothes he wore to my home. He was very appreciative and spent the night with arms, legs and emotions wrapped around me, as I wrapped myself around him. The connection was so intense, one that I was unsure if I had ever felt before. There was not any sex, just some great kissing and cuddling.
Long-story short this continued several times over the next few weeks. We spent a lot of time together, went to dinner, shopped for groceries, etc. One day his phone was no longer working, and we started to communicate via emails and facebook so I would know when we were going to get together again. I understood that he was having a rough time, low on finances, and needed someone who cared - Me.
And care did I provide. This was going to be my man, and he was just having a rough time. I have been in tight situations in the past, so I understood what he was going through. Well let's just say I thought I understood his situation.
Many would say that I am an intelligent man, with a good head on my shoulders. I always prided myself in having an innate ability to read and see through people. I considered for the most part, that I had a good judge of character when trying to size people up. Now I don't know any more.
When I look back over the weeks with Nate, there were so many signs that I chose to ignore. After all this man was fulfilling a need I had. I wanted to be held at night by someone who wanted to hold me. Sure I could have considered the words to "I can't make you love me." After all the verse says lay down with me and make me feel you love me if just for tonight. I guess I gave up the fight because I wanted this just for the night.
